單身貴族的8條新年決心

　　基本上是新年前夜，無論是想變得更好還是更糟，你打算參加周三晚上的單身倒計時晚會。你是孤單的，再一次。你因此而哭泣，還是順其自然吧，但是現(xiàn)在你準備好成為另一個人想成為的人。

　　明年如果你想會轉事情，這里有需要下的8條新年決心。

　　1. “I will meet more people”

　　“我要遇見更多的人”

　　Unless you marry the McDelivery guy, Prince Charming isn’t going to appear on your doorstep. Well, maybe he would if you threw a gigantic dinner party at home with a lot of singles in attendance, but either way, dating is a numbers game, so go meet some new guys. (You too, introverts.) You need to do whatever it takes, even if it means attending a spin class or joining nature walks from Meetup.com. On that topic…

　　如果你想嫁給馬岱立夫小伙，迷人的王子不會主動出現(xiàn)在你的門前�；蛟S他會出現(xiàn)如果你布置了一桌豐盛的晚宴在有許多單身人士的家，但還有一種方式，約會是一個查數(shù)的游戲，因此去見一些新的家伙。(你們，性格內向的人)無論花費什么，你們都要去做，即使是一次短途旅行或在大自然中的散步。話題是...

　　2. “I will try unconventional means of dating”

　　“我會嘗試不正規(guī)的約會方式”

　　We’re talking online dating, speed-dating, Tinder, or straight-up hiring a professional matchmaker. Look, there’s no shame in meeting someone through an algorithm. In the grand scheme of things, how you met constitutes about 1 per cent of an entire relationship. Who cares whether you met your dream guy through a dating coach, rather than on a cross-country tour through Europe? Happily ever after isn’t defined by how a romance begins, but how it ends.

　　我們在談論在線約會，速度約會，引火物，或直接雇傭一個專業(yè)的符合的人�？赐ㄟ^算計碰見某人沒什么羞恥的。事情在很大程度上，你們怎樣遇見組成了1%的整個的關系。誰會關心是否你遇見你夢想的家伙通過一次約會訓練而不是跨越國家的通往歐洲的旅行?幸福不會被浪漫怎樣開始定義，而是以怎樣結束。

　　3. “I will let my friends intervene for me”

　　“我會讓我的朋友干涉我”

　　If you’re still not convinced, then seek help from your most immediate resource: your friends. It’s not easy to admit you need help when you’re so proud of being independent. But these people not only know what you want, but they know your history and who will be good for you. They’ve all got brothers, cousins, colleagues, and old friends who are in the same boat. So let down your defences and accept the possibility that they’re not just being meddlesome and “kpo”, they actually do want to see you happy.

　　如果你仍不自信，然后從最直接的資源尋求幫助：你的朋友們。承認你需要幫助不太容易當你驕傲于獨立的時候。但是這些人不僅知道你想要什么，而且知道你的歷史，誰會適合你。他們都有處于同樣境地的兄弟，侄子，同事，和老朋友。因此放下你的防備，接受他們不是愛管閑事的人的可能性，他們實際上是想讓你高興。

　　4. “I will be open”

　　“我會變得開放”

　　One of the easiest ways to stay single is to enforce shallow dealbreakers. Obviously, you should uphold some standards – like, don’t date a drug dealer – but ladies, would you be open to dating someone who is three years younger than you? How about someone whose idea of classical music is a Kenny G cover band? Or how about someone whose sense of style is stuck in the ‘90s? None of these traits are attractive, but they’re all superficial. If he’s a good person – loyal, happy, unselfish, willing to change – then know that he’s a diamond amidst a host of “cool” guys with mediocre hearts. It’s a lot easier for someone to change his wardrobe than it is for him to change his character.

　　最簡單的保持單身的方式之一是保持淺顯的規(guī)則。很明顯，你應該擁有一些標準-例如，不和吸毒者約會-但女士，你和小你三歲的人約會持開放態(tài)度么?如果有人認為古典音樂即是Kenny G cover樂隊會怎么樣?或者有人的擇偶標準僅僅是90后?這些特點都不吸引人，但他們都是表面意義的。如果他是一個好人——忠誠，幸福，無私，想要改變 -然后知道他是冷家伙中擁有一顆平常心的鉆石。對于某人來說改變性格比改變衣櫥更簡單。

　　5. “I will stop procrastinating”

　　“我會停止拖延”

　　There will always be a reason for you to avoid love. You want to change jobs before getting into a relationship. You want to settle your finances before getting serious. You want to lose a few kilograms before seeing what’s out there. At the risk of sounding cliché, life is a journey. You can feel like you’re in a good place without having things 100 per cent settled. Maybe it’s time to start trusting that the person you meet will love you anyway.

　　總會有原因使你停止愛。你想換工作在進入一段關系前。你想解決賬單在認真之前。你想減肥在看出那里發(fā)生了什么之前。冒著聽起來像是陳詞濫調的風險，生活是一場旅行。你能感到你狀態(tài)很好事情百分百沒有被解決�；蛟S該是時候相信你遇見的人會以任何一種方式愛你。

　　6. “I will stop judging people who settled down before I did”

　　“我會停止判斷人在我坐下來之前”

　　“One day, she’s going to regret getting married so young.”

　　“Who marries their secondary school boyfriend??”

　　“I would never want to be that co-dependent.”

　　“I can’t believe she lets him carry her bag.”

　　“Did you know that she cooks her boyfriend dinner every weekend ? I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that.”

　　“有一天，她會后悔結婚這么早”

　　“誰嫁給了她們初中時代的男友?”

　　“我不想再依賴了。”

　　“我不能相信她讓他拿包。”

　　“你知道嗎她給她的男友每周末做飯?我很高興我不用。”

　　These statements might be 100 per cent legitimate, but being so harsh toward other couples makes it difficult for people to get close to you.

　　這些話可能百分之百的合法，但是對其他人這么刻薄很難使人接近你。

　　7. “I will be secure”

　　“我有安全感”

　　You’re not missing out by being single. You’re not behind in life just because you’re unmarried and childless. You’ll meet your person, it just hasn’t happened for you yet. And that’s fine. Yes, you go on dates and meet new people, but whether you’re spending Friday night on the town or home alone with a bucket of popcorn, you’re secure knowing that singleness isn’t a necessary evil , it is your life, and one day, you will be able to share everything you learned from this season with another person.

　　你是單身的但是并沒有被漏掉。生活中你沒有被拉下，因為你未婚孩子氣。你會遇到你的伴侶只是還未發(fā)生。那很好。是的，你繼續(xù)約會遇見新人，但是是否你花費周五的晚上在小鎮(zhèn)上或獨自在家里嚼著爆米花，你是安全的了解單身并不是一種罪惡，它是你的生活，有一天，你能夠和另一個人分享這個季節(jié)你學到的東西。

　　8. “I will never stop hoping”

　　“我永不停止希望”

　　After a certain point (say, a certain age), it’s easy to get jaded and conclude that love just ain’t for you. You’re better off alone, relationships are more trouble than they’re worth, and anyway, who needs someone else? You’re completely self-sufficient. You can carry your own groceries, buy your own house, and find your own happiness without seeking validation from someone else. And anyway, isn’t love just our brain’s reaction to a flood of dopamine?

　　在某一個確定點之后(確定的年齡)，很容易總結愛不屬于你。你最好單身，關系更加復雜，不管怎樣，誰需要另一個人呢?你完全的自給自足。你能那你自己的貨物，給你自己買房子，尋找你自己的幸福無需他人的認可。無論如何，愛只是你的大腦對多巴胺的反應么?

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