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如何贏得社交場(chǎng)合的好感
Being likable is entirely under your control. All it takes is the ability to pick up a few key social skills that build emotional intelligence (EQ).
受歡迎與否完全是可以由你自己來(lái)掌控的。你只需掌握一些用來(lái)修煉情商的社交小技巧即可。
To help you out, we sifted through the Quora thread, "What are useful social skills that can be picked up quickly?" and highlighted our favorite answers.
為了幫助你，我們仔細(xì)篩選了Quora上“能夠快速習(xí)得且行之有效的社交技巧有哪些?”的所有回答，并且為你整理出了我們最喜歡的答案。
Here are seven simple ways to start crafting a "million-dollar personality" and be the most likable person in the room:
以下7個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的技巧便可以幫你打造一個(gè)“百萬(wàn)美元性格”，讓你人氣爆棚。
1. Make eye contact.
1. 眼神交流。
"It is an idiotically simple thing, but it remains one of the most impactful life hacks around," writes Quora user Brad Porter. "The most attractive quality in a person is confidence. But 'be confident' is not very good advice. Instead, find the best proxy for confidence, in terms of interactive behavior. And that's eye contact."
“這是一個(gè)不能再簡(jiǎn)單的技巧了，但是它仍舊是最有效的生活技巧之一，”Quora用戶布拉德•波特寫(xiě)道。“一個(gè)人最有吸引力的品質(zhì)就是自信。但是只是簡(jiǎn)單的說(shuō)一句“要自信”，這并不是一個(gè)好建議。相反，就交流而言，你可以將自信更加具體化，即眼神交流。”
Start this habit immediately, says Porter. It requires no practice or special skill — just the commitment to meet someone's gaze and look them in the eye while conversing.
波特建議馬上開(kāi)始使用這個(gè)技巧，使之成為習(xí)慣。這并不需要鍛煉或者其他的特殊技能——你只需真誠(chéng)的回視對(duì)方，在談話當(dāng)中認(rèn)真看著對(duì)方的眼睛即可。
2. Put your smartphone in your pocket.
2. 把手機(jī)放在口袋里。
And keep it there until your conversation or meeting is over. Basil Chiasson puts it simply: "Pay attention. Look at them. Stop what you're doing. No interruptions."
當(dāng)你的談話或會(huì)議還沒(méi)有結(jié)束時(shí)，手機(jī)最好一直放在口袋里。巴茲爾•恰森直截了當(dāng)?shù)卣f(shuō)道：“集中精力。看著對(duì)方。放下手中的活兒。杜絕任何干擾。”
This is another simple, yet effective, habit that can be executed immediately and does not require any effort or skill.
這是另一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單且有效的習(xí)慣，無(wú)需花很多精力就能立刻執(zhí)行。
3. Call people by name.
3. 記住別人的名字。
The next time someone greets you by name or uses your name mid-conversation, remember how great that feels.
下一次如果有人叫著你的名字，給你打招呼，或者在談話中提到了你的名字時(shí)，記住那一刻，你會(huì)十分開(kāi)心的。
If you have trouble putting names to faces, try different strategies, such as writing them down or using imagery or rhymes associated with the name. Quora user Howard Lee suggests repeating their name verbally when you're first introduced and then twice more in your head.
如果你實(shí)在不喜歡當(dāng)面提名道姓，你可以試試別的方法，比如寫(xiě)下來(lái)，或者使用聯(lián)想法。Quora用戶霍華德•李建議當(dāng)你第一次認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)人，你可以口頭重復(fù)一次他們的名字，然后在你的腦袋里面再多過(guò)兩遍。
4. Smile.
4.微笑。
Don't underestimate the power of smiling.
千萬(wàn)別低估了微笑的力量。
Additionally, laugh and tell jokes, recommends Quora user Craig Fraser. People unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they're talking to. If you want to be likable, use positive body language and people will naturally return the favor.
Quora用戶克雷格•弗雷澤推薦說(shuō)，除微笑之外，大笑和講笑話都有用。人們會(huì)不自覺(jué)地印隨與他們談話的人的肢體語(yǔ)言。想要人氣爆棚，那就多展示一些積極的肢體語(yǔ)言，人們會(huì)自然而然地帶給你相應(yīng)地回饋。
5. Give a firm handshake.
5. 握手要有力。
"Not too hard, certainly not limp and soft, and with no dominance play," writes Tony Vincent.
“不需要太用力，但也不要太柔太弱，沒(méi)有任何主導(dǎo)力，”托尼•文森特寫(xiě)道。
Research shows that people decide whether or not they like you within seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake contributes largely to that first impression, as do strong posture and positive body language.[/en
調(diào)查顯示：從第一眼見(jiàn)到你的幾秒鐘內(nèi)，人們就能判斷是否喜歡你。有力的握手能很大程度地提升你的第一印象，做一些強(qiáng)勢(shì)的姿勢(shì)或者是自己的肢體語(yǔ)言也有同樣的效用。
6. Listen.
6.聆聽(tīng)。
Listen more than you speak, says Quora user Mark Bridgeman: "You have two ears, only one mouth. That's the ratio you should use them with."
“聽(tīng)要多過(guò)于說(shuō)，”Quora用戶馬克•布里奇曼說(shuō)道，“你有兩只耳，一張嘴。這也是你在使用它們時(shí)所占的比例。”
7. Don't just listen — actively listen.
7.別傻聽(tīng)——要有回應(yīng)地聽(tīng)。
Simply hearing words doesn't cut it. Likable people truly listen to the person they're talking to.
只去聽(tīng)所說(shuō)的話是沒(méi)什么用的。受歡迎的人聽(tīng)的是和他們對(duì)話的人。
Active listening requires four steps, writes Chiasson: hearing, interpreting, evaluating, and responding.
積極的聆聽(tīng)有四步，恰森寫(xiě)道：聆聽(tīng)，解釋，評(píng)估，回應(yīng)。
Step one requires dropping what you're doing and paying attention. Next, "paraphrase what you've heard and ask clarifying questions," she suggests. Evaluating means steering clear of quick judgment and jumping to conclusions: "Make sure you have all the pertinent information before forming or expressing an opinion." Finally, "give feedback to let the speaker know that you heard them," she writes.
第一步要求你放下手中的活兒，集中注意力。第二步，她建議道：“將所聽(tīng)到的自我消化，然后問(wèn)一些關(guān)鍵問(wèn)題”。評(píng)估意味著避免過(guò)早下結(jié)論：“必須要在形成和表達(dá)自己觀點(diǎn)之前確認(rèn)了解所有的相關(guān)信息。”最后，她寫(xiě)道：“及時(shí)回饋給說(shuō)話者，讓他們知道你在聽(tīng)他們說(shuō)話。”
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