小心辦公室人氣陷阱
有愉快的同事關(guān)系，受到同事的歡迎恐怕是每個(gè)職場(chǎng)人的想法。但是，當(dāng)人氣與敬業(yè)之間出現(xiàn)矛盾時(shí)，比如作為主管，工作的需要你得要求大家加班，但是誰都知道這不討好，這種時(shí)候你該怎么辦呢?是好好先生做到底，還是雷厲風(fēng)行的保證工作順利開展?下面就如何對(duì)待職場(chǎng)中的人氣陷阱給大家一些建議，尤其是剛剛開始工作的學(xué)生。
the popularity trap 人氣陷阱
respect versus popularity-it is the old conflict between being professional and being personal. we want to do a good job, but we want to be friends with everyone, too. the truth is, you can't always be liked if you do your job properly. and the desire to keep everyone happy can become a weakness.
受人尊敬與受人歡迎歸結(jié)起來其實(shí)是敬業(yè)和個(gè)人化之間的矛盾。我們都想把工作做好，同時(shí)我們也想和所有的人成為朋友。而實(shí)情是如果你想把工作做好的話，你就必然不討人喜愛。想成為好好先生的一廂情愿往往會(huì)成為你的弱點(diǎn)。
"at best," says management consultant jennie lumley, "worrying about what others think makes us reactive when we need to be proactive. at worst, we're so busy playing the office sweetheart that we lose sight of the demands of the job and our needs."
管理咨詢專家詹妮·倫莉說：“太介意別人的看法對(duì)工作沒有好處，勉強(qiáng)說得上好的話就是當(dāng)我們必須積極面對(duì)的時(shí)候，我們開始有了反應(yīng);而最糟糕的局面是大家都熱衷于做辦公室的好好先生，而漠視了工作和我們本身的要求。”
this is a particular problem for female professionals, lumley finds. "it's a childhood hangover. we all long to be the most popular girl in school. also, girls are brought up to try to please. this need to be liked gets in the way of career progress. at work, men don't give a thought to what others think so long as they get their way."
職業(yè)女性尤其容易產(chǎn)生這個(gè)問題，詹妮·倫莉說：“這是因?yàn)橥杲o我們太深的痕跡，我們都想成為學(xué)校里最受歡迎的女生;同時(shí)，女孩子從小就被教導(dǎo)要善解人意。而這種要討人喜愛的心理往往會(huì)成為職業(yè)生涯的障礙。而對(duì)男性來說就沒有這個(gè)問題，只要他們達(dá)到他們預(yù)期的目標(biāo)，他們才不會(huì)理會(huì)其他人到底怎么想。”
at times you have to be tough 有時(shí)你就要狠下心來!
although we would all love to be ms popular at home and in the office, at work the task is not to be liked, but to be effective, says computer sales executive andrea. 電腦銷售主管安德莉認(rèn)為，雖然我們都想成為家里或辦公室的受歡迎人士，可工作的性質(zhì)不是要求人們要招人喜愛，而是一定要有工作效率。
"this is possibly the single most important lesson we can learn. you can't always be popular. you shouldn't have to be; it's not what you're there for. progress depends on having your own ideas and sticking to them. and that means having the guts to make difficult decisions when you have to," she says. 安德莉說：“這有可能是我們學(xué)到的最重要的東西。你不可能時(shí)時(shí)處處受歡迎，你也沒必要這樣做;你的工作也不要求你這樣。工作取得進(jìn)展很大程度上是因?yàn)槟阌凶约邯?dú)立的想法并努力去實(shí)現(xiàn)它，這也就意味著在必要的時(shí)候，你就得狠下心來做出艱苦的決定。”
the soft decision is never a real option, as many women find. pat had to deal with a colleague who had repeatedly been warned about her absenteeism, and now had to be told to go. when pat tried to fire her, the colleague was so distraught, pat gave her another chance.
而很多女性也發(fā)現(xiàn)，不痛不癢的'決定其實(shí)不能解決問題。帕特就得面對(duì)這么一位同事，她因曠工已經(jīng)被警告多次，最后還被勒令辭職。那同事知道自己要被炒魷魚時(shí)表現(xiàn)得非常激動(dòng)，帕特一時(shí)不忍給了她第二次機(jī)會(huì)。
"it was a disaster," pat says. "i had fired her and she'd walked away from it. my colleagues were resentful. i lost their respect, my bosses' and my own. and i still had to deal with her in the end!"
帕特承認(rèn)說：“這真是一場(chǎng)災(zāi)難，我已經(jīng)炒了她，她卻毫發(fā)無傷地留了下來!其他同事都很有意見，我一下子失去了他們對(duì)我的支持，同時(shí)失去的還有上司對(duì)我和我對(duì)自己的信任。這還不算，到頭來我還得面對(duì)那個(gè)同事。”
we're aware from day one in our first job that every decision we make is either a building block or a stumbling block on our career path. we should use the time to lay the groundwork of future respect by being professional, responsible, innovative, diligent and reliable.
我們?cè)诘谝惶旃ぷ鞯臅r(shí)候就很清楚我們做出的每一個(gè)決定都意義重大，會(huì)影響我們未來事業(yè)的發(fā)展，要么添磚加瓦，要么成為自己事業(yè)的絆腳石。我們因此應(yīng)該在自己的專業(yè)領(lǐng)域兢兢業(yè)業(yè)，為自己將來的事業(yè)打下堅(jiān)實(shí)的基礎(chǔ)，成為一個(gè)專業(yè)、負(fù)責(zé)、創(chuàng)新、勤勉、值得信賴的人。
respect is never given for nothing. claire knew that she was offered a move to paris with her finance company because she had gained a reputation for keeping cool under fire. and the next step up the ladder would depend on her performance in paris.
沒有人會(huì)無緣無故地賞識(shí)你�？巳R爾被她所工作的金融公司提拔到法國巴黎去工作，她清楚這是因?yàn)樗茉谂u(píng)壓力下保持冷靜，正是自己的工作表現(xiàn)贏得了上司的贊賞。而她的下一次晉升就取決于她在巴黎的工作表現(xiàn)。
"it's essential to build regard if you're going to be able to do what you want in your job," she says. winning respect enhances all you do. a proposal for change is more likely to be well received; an application for a raise or a request for promotion is more likely to succeed.
她說：“如果你想在工作上大展拳腳，實(shí)施你自己的想法，別人對(duì)你的重視相當(dāng)關(guān)鍵。”這種重視能讓你更順利地達(dá)到目的，比如說人家會(huì)更仔細(xì)地研究你提出來的改革方案，你提薪或升遷的申請(qǐng)也更能得到滿意的答復(fù)。
gentle persuasion 溫柔的說服力
the woman who builds her professional edge in this way isn't condemned to loneliness and isolation. you can be firm without being unpleasant, and being tough doesn't mean being rude or confrontational. persuasive and assertive are the watch words.
以此構(gòu)筑自己專業(yè)優(yōu)勢(shì)的女性不會(huì)注定孤獨(dú)或受到別人的隔離。因?yàn)槟憧梢酝ㄟ^不令人生厭的方式表達(dá)你的不同意見，堅(jiān)決并不代表要粗暴或挑釁，要做到耐心勸服與堅(jiān)定自信并重。
"to make the right decisions and push them through, you will need the kid gloves more often than the boxing gloves," lumley suggests. and a sense of humor is vital.
詹妮·倫莉說：“做出一個(gè)正確的決定并去實(shí)現(xiàn)它，你更需要的是哄小孩的耐性，而不是要和自己的同事拼個(gè)你死我活。”幽默感也是很重要的一環(huán)。
if you're doing your job properly you'll seldom be everyone's favorite person. but the payoff comes in the form of a deeper liking and admiration. respect is like money in the bank: you have to put it in before you can draw it out. don't worry about popularity, work on respect. that will take you a lot further in the long run.
盡職做工作并不能使你成為大家都喜歡的人物，可這樣做的報(bào)酬卻相當(dāng)可觀，它能讓你得到更深層次的喜愛和仰慕。尊敬就如同銀行里的錢一樣：在提款之前你必須先往里面存款!不用擔(dān)心自己的人氣指數(shù)，讓別人注意到你的工作表現(xiàn)，從長遠(yuǎn)來說，這能助你邁向成功之路。
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