吉爾伯特泰勒的奇跡
I grew up to study the brain because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder: schizophrenia. And as a sister and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand why is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true. What is it about my brother's brain and his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his dreams to a common and shared reality, so they instead become delusion?
我之所以選擇學(xué)習(xí)腦科是因?yàn)槲业囊粋�(gè)弟弟被診斷大腦功能紊亂，用專業(yè)點(diǎn)的說(shuō)法就是精神分裂癥。作為姐姐，到后來(lái)是作為科學(xué)家，我十分想了解為什么我們會(huì)做夢(mèng)，而且能夠?qū)⒆龅膲?mèng)和現(xiàn)實(shí)聯(lián)系起來(lái)，更有可能會(huì)夢(mèng)想成真。我弟弟的大腦到底是怎么了?他得的精神分裂癥就是他不能將他做的夢(mèng)和普通的現(xiàn)實(shí)結(jié)合起來(lái)，所以相反的就形成了幻覺(jué)。
So I dedicated my career to research into the severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question, "What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals who would be diagnosed as normal control, as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"
因此我致力于研究這些嚴(yán)重的精神疾病。而且我也從印第安納州搬到波士頓， 在那里，我可以在哈佛精神病學(xué)， 在實(shí)驗(yàn)過(guò)程中，我們會(huì)一直詢問(wèn)： “從生物學(xué)的角度來(lái)說(shuō)，個(gè)體與個(gè)體的究竟在哪里? 那些被診斷為精神分裂癥，精神壓抑的混亂癥狀或者 大腦功能極端紊亂的病人相比，他們和那些大腦控制功能正常的人有什么區(qū)別?”
So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry of the brain: which cells are communicating with which cells, with which chemicals, and then in what quantities of those chemicals? So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing this type of research during the day.
所以我們首先畫出了大腦的微線性圖：哪些細(xì)胞是和哪些細(xì)胞是有聯(lián)系的? 通過(guò)何種化學(xué)物質(zhì)聯(lián)系? 這些化學(xué)物質(zhì)有多少? 因此我的生活充滿意義，因?yàn)樵诎滋�，我一直在從事這種研究。
But then in the evenings and on the weekends, I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.
但是晚上和周末， 我則作為精神疾病聯(lián)盟一員從事一些宣傳工作。 但是1996年12月10號(hào)的早上，當(dāng)我起來(lái)時(shí)卻發(fā)現(xiàn)自己大腦有點(diǎn)紊亂。 我的大腦左半球的血管充血爆裂。
A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain. And in the course of four hours, I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage, I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life. I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.
在4個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間里， 我的大腦完全失去了它傳達(dá)信息的功能。早上的腦充血， 使我不能走路、交談、讀、寫和喚醒其他身體機(jī)能。 盡管我是個(gè)成年的女性，但身體行動(dòng)卻完全如同嬰兒一般。
If you've ever seen a human brain, it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another. And I have brought for you a real human brain. So this is a real human brain.
不知道各位是否見過(guò)人類的大腦，很明顯，它是由兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的半球組成。 今天我給大家?guī)?lái)了一個(gè)真實(shí)的人腦。 看，這就是一個(gè)真實(shí)的人腦，
This is the front of the brain, the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down, and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head. And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another. For those of you who understand computers, our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor, while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor. The two hemispheres do communicate with one another through the corpus collosum, which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers. But other than that, the two hemispheres are completely separate. Because they process information differently, each of our hemispheres think about different things, they care about different things, and, dare I say, they have very different personalities.
這是大腦的前面， 這是后面，大家還可以看到延伸的脊髓，它就是這樣存在于我們的腦袋里的。 當(dāng)我們?cè)倏催@個(gè)大腦的時(shí)候， 我們可以輕易的發(fā)現(xiàn)這兩個(gè)半球的大腦皮質(zhì)是完全分開的。各位都知道電腦的工作原理， 我們的右半腦的功能就像一個(gè)并行處理機(jī)， 我們的左腦半球就像一個(gè)串行處理機(jī)。這兩個(gè)半球，由胼胝體連接在一起， 使兩個(gè)半球的神經(jīng)傳導(dǎo)得以互通。 胼胝體是由三億軸體光纖組成的。 但是除了那些聯(lián)系，這兩個(gè)半球則是完全獨(dú)立的。 因?yàn)樗鼈儌鬟_(dá)的信息不同， 我們每個(gè)腦半球的思考的東西也不一樣，它們掌管的區(qū)域不一樣，我敢說(shuō),它們有不同的特性。
Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy. (Assistant: It has been.)
打擾以下，謝謝你。很有意思吧。
Our right hemisphere is all about this present moment. It's all about "right here, right now." Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies. Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously through all of our sensory systems and then it explodes into this enormous collage of what this present moment looks like, what this present moment smells like and tastes like, what it feels like and what it sounds like.
我們的右腦半球負(fù)責(zé)我們現(xiàn)在的事情。它的內(nèi)容就是：“此時(shí)，此刻。” 而且我們的右腦半球，它是形象思維， 它通過(guò)我們身體的運(yùn)動(dòng)來(lái)感知。 信息，以能量的形式，通過(guò)我們的感官系統(tǒng)同時(shí)注入大腦， 然后再分解成無(wú)數(shù)的抽象的拼圖 繼而呈現(xiàn)我們現(xiàn)在看起來(lái)是什么樣， 此刻有什么氣味和味道，此刻的感覺(jué)是什么?聽到了什么聲音? 通過(guò)大腦右半球的感覺(jué)， 使得自身的能量和周圍的能量相結(jié)合。
I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me through the consciousness of my right hemisphere. We are energy-beings connected to one another through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family. And right here, right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet, here to make the world a better place. And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.
通過(guò)我們右半腦的感覺(jué)，我們都是一個(gè)個(gè)互相聯(lián)系的能量體，如同一個(gè)家庭。 此時(shí)， 此刻，我們都是同一個(gè)星球上的兄弟姐妹， 我們的目標(biāo)是讓這個(gè)世界更加的美好。而且此時(shí)此刻，我們和諧的生活在一起，我們是一個(gè)和諧的整體。
My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place. Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically. Our left hemisphere is all about the past and it's all about the future. Our left hemisphere is designed to take that enormous collage of the present moment and start picking out details, details and more details about those details. It then categorizes and organizes all that information, associates it with everything in the past we've ever learned, and projects into the future all of our possibilities.
我的左腦半球，我們的左腦半球，則是一個(gè)完全不同的地方。我們左腦半球的思考是線性的，系統(tǒng)的。 我們的左腦半球的內(nèi)容 是關(guān)于過(guò)去和將來(lái)。 我們左腦半球的形成， 是為了將此刻的大量抽象拼圖，提取，然后分解成細(xì)節(jié)，很多的不同的細(xì)節(jié)。 然后再綜合， 組織這些信息， 和我們過(guò)去所學(xué)的一切聯(lián)系起來(lái)， 映射到我們的將來(lái)。
And our left hemisphere thinks in language. It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my internal world to my external world. It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember to pick up bananas on your way home. I need them in the morning."
我們的左腦半球是邏輯思維模式。 大腦不斷運(yùn)動(dòng)聯(lián)系了我， 我內(nèi)在的世界，以及我的外在的世界。 就是那些輕微的聲音提醒我說(shuō)，， “嘿，記得在回家的路上帶點(diǎn)香蕉回來(lái)。 我早上想吃香蕉。”
It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important, it's that little voice that says to me, "I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am," I become separate. I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow around me and separate from you. And this was the portion of my brain that I lost on the morning of my stroke.
是那些智能程序提醒我，我得洗衣服了。但最重要的可能是， 那些細(xì)小的聲音在提醒我， “我就是我，我就是我。”然后我得左腦半球會(huì)提醒說(shuō)“我就是我，” 因此我成為了一個(gè)獨(dú)立的個(gè)體。 我是一個(gè)獨(dú)立的立體的個(gè)人， 和周圍其它的能量分離，也和你分離。 這就是早上中風(fēng)的時(shí)候，我的大腦所丟失的部分。
On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of pain -- caustic pain -- that you get when you bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me -- and then it released me. And then it just gripped me -- and then it released me. And it was very unusual for me to ever experience any kind of pain, so I thought, OK, I'll just start my normal routine.
早上中風(fēng)后， 醒來(lái)時(shí)，感覺(jué)我得左眼很疼。是一種鉆心的疼。如同你咬了一口冰淇淋。 先是緊緊地揪住我， 然后再釋放。然后再揪住我， 再釋放。它不同于我以往所經(jīng)歷的任何形式的疼痛。 因此，我想著，我應(yīng)該開始我的常規(guī)生活了。
So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider, which is a full-body, full-exercise machine. And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing that my hands look like primitive claws grasping onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar." And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa, I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though my consciousness had shifted away from my normal perception of reality, where I'm the person on the machine having the experience, to some esoteric space where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.
我起床，然后跳到我的健身器材上，它是一個(gè)活動(dòng)全身部位的機(jī)器。 正當(dāng)我在運(yùn)動(dòng)的時(shí)候。 突然意識(shí)到我的手就像原始的爪子一樣 抓著扶手。我想，“這真的很奇特。” 我觀察了身體的狀況，聯(lián)想到，“哇， “我看起來(lái)真是個(gè)奇怪的東西。”好像 我的意識(shí)已經(jīng)被搬離了我正常的對(duì)于真實(shí)世界的感覺(jué)，就是我，是那個(gè)在器械上 保持運(yùn)動(dòng)的人，更深?yuàn)W的說(shuō) 就是我親眼目睹我自己經(jīng)歷這一切。
And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was just getting worse. So I get off the machine, and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I realize that everything inside of my body has slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace, and there's this constriction in my area of perceptions, so I'm just focused on internal systems. And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to step into the shower, and I could actually hear the dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract. You muscles, you relax."
這非常特別，我頭更疼了。 我走下了器械， 走過(guò)起居室的時(shí)候， 我意識(shí)到我體內(nèi)的所有東西 都緩慢了下來(lái)。每一步都非常的僵硬而且非常謹(jǐn)慎。我的步伐沒(méi)有靈活性， 在我的感覺(jué)范圍內(nèi)，有了這種約束， 于是我注意到了我體內(nèi)的系統(tǒng)。 我站在淋浴間準(zhǔn)備沖個(gè)澡 我能十分確定的聽到我體內(nèi)的對(duì)話。我聽見一個(gè)小聲音說(shuō)到 “好了，肌肉，現(xiàn)在你們必須運(yùn)動(dòng)。 肌肉，你休息!”
And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall. And I look down at my arm and I realize that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body. I can't define where I begin and where I end, because the atoms and the molecules of my arm blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall. And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.
接著我失去了平衡，我倚靠著墻站立著。我低頭看看我的胳膊， 發(fā)現(xiàn)我已經(jīng)無(wú)法感覺(jué)我身體的界限了。 我也不知道我從哪里開始的將從哪里結(jié)束， 因?yàn)槲腋觳采纤械脑雍头肿佣寂c墻上的原子分子融合在一起了。 我能分辨出來(lái)的只有這種能量——這種能量。
And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me? What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter -- my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent. Just like someone took a remote control and pushed the mute button. Total silence. And at first I was shocked to find myself inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me. And because I could no longer identify the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive. I felt at one with all the energy that was, and it was beautiful there.
我對(duì)自己說(shuō)，“我究竟是怎么了? “發(fā)生了什么事?”而就在那個(gè)時(shí)候，我的腦子開始咔噠作響了—— 我的左腦嗡嗡的響——突然一片寂靜。 就像有人拿起了一個(gè)遠(yuǎn)程遙控器按下了靜音鍵。徹底的寂靜。 起初我發(fā)現(xiàn)身處寂靜之中， 非常吃驚，但馬上我就 被周圍那種宏大的能量所迷惑了。 因?yàn)槲乙呀?jīng)不能感覺(jué)到身體的界限。我覺(jué)得自己非常巨大而且非常膨脹。 通過(guò)這些能量我馬上感覺(jué)到 --很美妙。
Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem! We got a problem! We gotta get some help." And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem. I got a problem." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem."
接著突然我左腦回來(lái)了，它對(duì)我說(shuō)：“嘿，我們遇到麻煩了! 我們遇到麻煩了!我們需要幫助!” 接著我反應(yīng)過(guò)來(lái)，“阿，我遇到麻煩了!我遇到麻煩了，”于是就像，“好吧，好吧，我遇到麻煩了!”
But then I immediately drifted right back out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately refer to this space as La La Land. But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would be like to be totally disconnected from your brain chatter that connects you to the external world.
但然后我突然漂了回來(lái) 恢復(fù)了意識(shí)——我親切的稱這種空間叫做“拉拉大地”。 那兒非常美。 想象你和你的大腦完全失去了聯(lián)系 而大腦本應(yīng)該把你與外部世界聯(lián)系起來(lái)的。
So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any stress related to my job -- it was gone. And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine: all of the relationships in the external world and any stressors related to any of those -- they were gone. And I felt this sense of peacefulness. And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage! (Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria. Euphoria. It was beautiful.
因而我就在這種空間，而我的工作—— 以及所有與我工作相關(guān)的壓力——都沒(méi)了。 我覺(jué)得身體很輕，想象： 外部世界的所有關(guān)系和 所有與那些關(guān)系相關(guān)的刺激——一切都沒(méi)了。我感覺(jué)很平靜。 想象一下，一下子丟掉了37年情感重?fù)?dān)，是什么樣的感覺(jué)! 噢，我覺(jué)得非�？鞓�(lè)。 非常快樂(lè)。非常美麗。
And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says, "Hey! You've got to pay attention. We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I got to get help. I gotta focus." So I get out of the shower and I mechanically dress and I'm walking around my apartment, and I'm thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work Can I drive? Can I drive?"
接著，我的左腦又恢復(fù)了，它說(shuō) “嘿，你得注意我們需要幫助!”接著我就想，“我需要幫助!” 我需要集中精神。 于是我走出淋浴間， 機(jī)械的穿上衣服，然后在我的屋子里走來(lái)走去。我在想，“我必須去工作，我必須去工作 “我能開車嗎?我能開車嗎?”
And in that moment my right arm went totally paralyzed by my side. Then I realized, "Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke! I'm having a stroke!"
那一刻，我的右手完全癱瘓了， 我意識(shí)到 “噢天哪!我中風(fēng)了!我中風(fēng)了!”
And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow! This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool! How many brain scientists have the opportunity to study their own brain from the inside out?" (Laughter)
接著我的腦子對(duì)我說(shuō)：“哇噢! “很酷嘛!這簡(jiǎn)直太酷了!” “有多少腦科專家能有機(jī)會(huì) 在他們自己的腦子上進(jìn)行學(xué)術(shù)研究啊!” (笑聲)
And then it crosses my mind: "But I'm a very busy woman!" (Laughter) "I don't have time for a stroke!"
接著我的腦子里回響，“但我是個(gè)非常忙的人!” “我可沒(méi)時(shí)間中風(fēng)!
So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening, so I'll do this for a week or two, and then I'll get back to my routine. OK. So I gotta call help. I gotta call work." I couldn't remember the number at work, so I remembered, in my office I had a business card with my number on it. So I go into my business room, I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.
接著我就像是，“那好吧，我沒(méi)有辦法阻止中風(fēng)的發(fā)生， 那么我就這樣過(guò)一兩個(gè)禮拜， 然后就回到自己本來(lái)的生活，嗯!我需要幫助，我得給單位打個(gè)電話!” 但我記不起單位的電話號(hào)碼了， 接著我想起在我的辦公室我有一張名片上面有我的號(hào)碼，于是我回到了我的屋里， 我找出了一疊兒三英寸大小的名片。
And I'm looking at the card on top and even though I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like, I couldn't tell if this was my card or not because all I could see were pixels. And the pixels of the words blended with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols, and I just couldn't tell. And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity. And in that moment, I would be able to reattach to normal reality and I could tell that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card. It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down inside of that stack of cards.
我盯著名片的正面， 雖然我能看得很清楚我的名片長(zhǎng)什么樣兒，但是我卻沒(méi)有辦法分辨出這張卡是不是我的， 或許是因?yàn)槲夷芸吹降闹皇窍袼匾粯拥臇|西。 而且是名片的上的單詞混合起來(lái)的'像素。就像是與背景和那些標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)混合起來(lái)的， 而我就是無(wú)法辨認(rèn)。 之后我就等著，等著我希望的那種清楚地感覺(jué)出現(xiàn)。 那個(gè)時(shí)候，我就能夠重新與現(xiàn)實(shí)結(jié)合起來(lái)， 然后我也發(fā)現(xiàn)那不是我要的名片……那不是我要的名片……那不是我要的名片 我整整花了45分鐘從那一疊兒名片中一張一張的找我的名片。
In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is getting bigger in my left hemisphere. I do not understand numbers. I do not understand the telephone, but it's the only plan I have. So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card, I put it right here, and I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad. But then I would drift back out into La La Land, and not remember when I came back if I'd already dialed those numbers. So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed them, so that as I would come back to normal reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."
同時(shí)經(jīng)過(guò)這45分鐘， 我左腦里的積血越來(lái)越多了。 我看不懂?dāng)?shù)字，我沒(méi)辦法打電話 但是我也只能這樣做了。于是我把電話簿拿起來(lái)放在那兒，我拿起了名片 也把它放在那兒， 我把名片上那些亂七八糟的文字， 和電話簿上那些亂七八糟的文字一一對(duì)比。接著我又飄到了我的“拉拉大地”去了， 也不記得當(dāng)我回到現(xiàn)實(shí)的時(shí)候， 我到底有沒(méi)有撥通了那些號(hào)碼。我不得不把我那癱掉的胳膊像舉樹樁一樣舉起 移到那些號(hào)碼上然后摁下 那樣我就能夠回到正常的現(xiàn)實(shí)里面 告訴自己，“對(duì)，我已經(jīng)撥通了那個(gè)號(hào)碼!”
Eventually, the whole number gets dialed and I'm listening to the phone, and my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me, "Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself, "Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"
最終，整個(gè)號(hào)碼被撥通了 我拿著聽筒， 我的同事接聽了電話，并對(duì)我說(shuō) “汪汪汪汪，”(笑聲)我不禁想 “天哪，他聽起來(lái)就像一只金毛獵狗!”
And so I say to him -- clear in my mind, I say to him: "This is Jill! I need help!" And what comes out of my voice is, "Woo woo woo woo woo." I'm thinking, "Oh my gosh, I sound like a Golden Retriever." So I couldn't know -- I didn't know that I couldn't speak or understand language until I tried. So he recognizes that I need help and he gets me help.
我就對(duì)他說(shuō)，我記得很清楚，我對(duì)他說(shuō)： “我是吉爾，我需要幫助!” 但是我發(fā)出的聲音卻是，“汪汪汪汪汪!” 我想，“天哪，我聽起來(lái)也像一只金毛獵狗。” 但我沒(méi)法知道，我也不知道 直到我嘗試了半天才明白我已經(jīng)不能說(shuō)或者聽懂語(yǔ)言了。但他馬上意識(shí)到我需要幫助，接著他幫助了我。
And a little while later, I am riding in an ambulance from one hospital across Boston to [Massachusetts] General Hospital And I curl up into a little fetal ball. And just like a balloon with the last bit of air, just, just right out of the balloon, I just felt my energy lift and just -- I felt my spirit surrender.
一會(huì)兒，我就已經(jīng)躺在從波士頓開往麻省綜合醫(yī)院的救護(hù)車?yán)锪恕?我蜷縮起來(lái)，把自己像嬰兒那樣卷成一個(gè)球。 就像只剩最后一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)空氣的氣球，就在那個(gè)氣球外面， 我覺(jué)得我的能量流失了——我覺(jué)得我的精神投降了。
And in that moment, I knew that I was no longer the choreographer of my life. And either the doctors rescue my body and give me a second chance at life, or this was perhaps my moment of transition.
那個(gè)時(shí)候，我明白我已經(jīng) 不再是主宰自己生命的指導(dǎo)了。醫(yī)生拯救了我的身體， 給了我第二次生存的機(jī)會(huì)， 這也許是我轉(zhuǎn)折的那一刻。
When I woke later that afternoon, I was shocked to discover that I was still alive. When I felt my spirit surrender, I said goodbye to my life. And my mind was now suspended between two very opposite planes of reality. Stimulation coming in through my sensory systems felt like pure pain. Light burned my brain like wildfire, and sounds were so loud and chaotic that I could not pick a voice out from the background noise, and I just wanted to escape.
那天下午我醒來(lái)的時(shí)候，我非常驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn)我仍然活著。當(dāng)我發(fā)現(xiàn)我精神投降的時(shí)候， 我已經(jīng)對(duì)我的生命說(shuō)了再見。 我的精神在兩個(gè)完全相反的 真實(shí)星球漂浮著。我感官系統(tǒng)帶來(lái)的刺激就像純粹的痛。 我的腦子就像野火一樣燃燒， 聲音非常吵雜和混亂，以至于我沒(méi)有辦法 從那些噪音中區(qū)別出任何一種聲音，我只是想逃離。
Because I could not identify the position of my body in space, I felt enormous and expansive, like a genie just liberated from her bottle. And my spirit soared free, like a great whale gliding through the sea of silent euphoria. Nirvana. I found Nirvana. And I remember thinking, there's no way I would ever be able to squeeze the enormousness of myself back inside this tiny little body.
因?yàn)槲覠o(wú)法辨別 我身體所處的位置，我還是感覺(jué)巨大而且膨脹， 就像是從瓶中獲得解放的小鬼。我的靈魂自由的翱翔，就像一條大鯨魚 在安靜而快樂(lè)的海洋里面翻騰。 天堂，我看到了天堂，我記得我想 我可能沒(méi)有辦法把我自己重新積壓到這個(gè)小小的軀體里。
But then I realized, "But I'm still alive! I'm still alive, and I have found Nirvana. And if I have found Nirvana and I'm still alive, then everyone who is alive can find Nirvana." And I pictured a world filled with beautiful, peaceful, compassionate, loving people who knew that they could come to this space at any time. And that they could purposely choose to step to the right of their left hemispheres and find this peace. And then I realized what a tremendous gift this experience could be, what a stroke of insight this could be, to how we live our lives. And it motivated me to recover.
但我意識(shí)到，“我還活著，我還活著!而且我找到了天堂，如果我 找到了天堂而且我還活著，那么活著的每一個(gè)人 都能找到天堂。”我描繪了一個(gè)世界 充滿了美麗、寧逸、憐憫友愛的人們，他們知道 他們隨時(shí)能夠到這個(gè)空間。他們能夠 有目的的選擇控制他們的左腦 讓他們找到和平。接著，我意識(shí)到這是多么重大的一份禮物和經(jīng)歷阿! 對(duì)于我們?nèi)绾紊�，這是多么富有遠(yuǎn)見的一次中風(fēng)阿! 這成為了我恢復(fù)的動(dòng)力。
Two and a half weeks after the hemorrhage, the surgeons went in and they removed a blood clot the size of a golf ball that was pushing on my language centers. Here I am with my mama, who is a true angel in my life. It took me eight years to completely recover.
出血兩個(gè)半星期之后，外科醫(yī)生幫我取出了一個(gè)高爾夫球般大小的血塊 它一直擠壓著我的語(yǔ)言中樞。 現(xiàn)在我和我媽媽在一起，她真的是我生命中的一位天使。我完全恢復(fù)整整用了八年。
So who are we? We are the life force power of the universe, with manual dexterity and two cognitive minds. And we have the power to choose, moment by moment, who and how we want to be in the world. Right here, right now, I can step into the consciousness of my right hemisphere, where we are. I am the life-force power of the universe. I am the life-force power of the 50 trillion beautiful molecular geniuses that make up my form, at one with all that is.
我們是誰(shuí)?我們是宇宙中生命的驅(qū)動(dòng)力，擁有靈巧的手工技藝以及兩頁(yè)富有認(rèn)知的頭腦。 我們有選擇的力量，時(shí)時(shí)刻刻， 成為這個(gè)世界上我們希望成為的人。 此時(shí)此刻，我能夠邁入我右腦所反應(yīng)的意識(shí)領(lǐng)域，也就是我們所在的地方。 我是宇宙的生命原動(dòng)力。 我是組成我整體的五百億 美麗的、由分子組成的天才的原動(dòng)力。
Or, I can choose to step into the consciousness of my left hemisphere, where I become a single individual, a solid. Separate from the flow, separate from you. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor: intellectual, neuroanatomist. These are the "we" inside of me. Which would you choose? Which do you choose? And when? I believe that the more time we spend choosing to run the deep inner-peace circuitry of our right hemispheres, the more peace we will project into the world, and the more peaceful our planet will be.
And I thought that was an idea worth spreading.
或者，我能夠邁入我左腦 所反應(yīng)的意識(shí)領(lǐng)域，我成為了一個(gè)個(gè)體， 一個(gè)純粹的個(gè)體。從流動(dòng)中分離出來(lái)，從你們中分離出來(lái)，我是吉爾波爾特泰勒博士， 一位有知識(shí)的神經(jīng)解剖學(xué)家。這就是我體內(nèi)的那個(gè)“我們”。你愿意選擇什么?你選擇什么?什么時(shí)候? 我相信，我們花費(fèi)更多的時(shí)間 來(lái)選擇運(yùn)行我們右腦中埋藏深深的和平系統(tǒng)，我們就會(huì)對(duì)這個(gè)世界產(chǎn)生更多的和諧， 我們的星球也會(huì)變得更加安寧。 我認(rèn)為這是一個(gè)值得去推廣的主意。
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